Ok, so at least I did stick to my plan for this weekend. And that was first and foremost, to do some very hard work that I had been avoiding. Because I was fearful of the outcome. (See my previous post, Cross Posting: To Walk with Resolution: The Energy and Guidance of a Star)
So, the outcome was not great, but, I did come up with a game plan. I will still move forward… even tho I still can’t see my way through the shadows, I won’t let that stall me. Because being paralyzed by fear is not a good option! So. I did take those first few steps, and hopefully when I wake up tomorrow, will find the faith to continue forward.
That was not all that I did this weekend…..although we had taken down the tree last weekend, there was still post-holiday clutter around. I am not a neat freak by any means, but sometimes you just gotta clean up. And so we did. And in the process, things got interesting.
Part and parcel of having lived “in the closet” is that I haven’t had a good place to have an altar in my home. Members of the immediate family – including my better half – aren’t entirely comfortable with this change in path I’ve made mid-life. But since I maintain the same holiday traditions we have always done (as a nominally Catholic family, except for me), subtle demonstrations of my new path are accepted. Any altar I set up, has candles (nothing new for me or this house) and symbols that are natural - sand dollars make great natural pentacles. Pinecones and seashells are other symbolic decorations. These things have always been part of my décor, now I just use them with intention.
We do have a small dining room, a family room, and another room, you would call either a sitting room or a den. My husband actually enjoys setting up the décor of the house, so over the years, I have let him have free reign, in most rooms. The family room is pretty much a “man cave”, with the prerequisite big screen TV. But it looks great. He does a great job, and is so helpful in all things, I let him do his thing.
The only rooms I have had sole reign over have been the dining room and that sitting room; I call it the front room, because it is on the front of the house, has a bay window, and gets excellent sunlight. This is where I start a lot of seedlings, late winter, early spring. The top of the piano in that room serves as a wonderful altar spot.
In the dining room, I have this small chest of drawers in the corner, that I have decorated with candles and symbols of both the God and Goddess as an altar. Over the holidays, its setup was modified accordingly, and as we were putting things back in order today something interesting happened.
My husband, in the last year, has taken up cigar smoking. The guy busts his butt working, so I do not begrudge him any creature comfort he finds helpful. He bought a humidor to keep his cigars in good condition. It’s like this little chest, actually very attractive.
He had this on the top of the bureau in our bedroom. But, with the onset of colder weather, the humidity indicator in his cigar box dropped…. The upstairs does not get as warm as the downstairs these cold days. So, he moved the humidor downstairs. I had removed everything from that chest of drawers to thoroughly dust and clean before setting the altar back up…. And in the interlude he plunked the humidor smack dab in the middle. He was so pleased with how it looked in that spot….
I can’t say it doesn’t look attractive. And being downstairs, where the woodstove is burning, the humidity indicator has gone back up. So it looks like its here in the dining room for the rest of the winter at least…..
So I have decided, this altar, for the rest of the winter anyways, will be dedicated to the masculine aspects of Deity. Primarily for me, this is Cernunnos, but there are others I will honor as well. But unlike before, this altar will be a “man cave” altar, dedicated specifically to the masculine aspects. I haven’t finished setting it up yet, I have a few ideas, just want to have some time to consider them.
Practical and necessary work preceded writing and blogging this weekend; nonetheless, many ideas swirled in my head; I made notes and hopefully can catch up on all of them.
And may the Lord of the Hunt protect us all, and give us the fortitude to forge ahead, and do the work we need to do.